I was first thinking , when exactly does one start to yearn for acceptance?
Is it when we are born?
Is it when we first feel the pain of non-acceptance?
Is it when we begin to be challenged in sports?
Is it when we fall into the ever talked about `peer pressure`?
Is it when we fall in love?
Is it when we start a new job?
Is it when we become a new member of a family?
Is it when we move to a new city or country?
Is it when we write our very first book?
I believe it is all of the above, when people feel the need to be accepted, they will do leaps and bounds to succeed in this quest.
Athletes and bodybuilders will take drugs to win…winning=acceptance.
When we fall in love, our entire being wants to feel accepted by our mate.
Authors will spend hours and hours to write the exact words to please their readers and go to great lengths to publish their creation.
Becoming a new member of a family whether it be through marriage or adoption will create a need to be nurtured as one who genuinely belongs.
Starting a new job is a definite acceptance need, we need to fit in so we can relax and apply ourselves 100% to our job.
Moving to a new country or city or even just a new neighborhood, is very challenging for us and to be accepted and fit in, is a very important step in our settling in.
Lets not forget` Peer Pressure` , that’s a tough one, children just getting started in high school suffer the most with this one, hormones are swinging and their emotions are so sensitive. The fears that they have struggle with for the year before is all up front and they have a whole lot of reality to deal with. To fit in and be accepted by their peers is more than half the battle.
Being a baby has a world of need to be accepted and see our parents smile when we please them.
The pain of non acceptance for the first time cuts like a knife. It wounds us for life, creating a scar that we grow with forever. All these worries, needs and desires are in all of us that live and breathe. Some of us feel the hunger for acceptance less than others. Some of us cannot live without acceptance; we become obsessed in our thinking, trying anything we can to fit in.
Do you read the words “self esteem” in anything I have written here today? Yup and it is in every sentence. The need for acceptance somehow affects our self-esteem which in turns affects our emotional stability where jealousy, worry and anxiety seed from. If you know the feeling of non-acceptance or low self-esteem, then you know how controlled you are by the worry that follows them and how much of your life is imprisoned by that other mind.
Low self-esteem and non-acceptance are exactly that, `another mind` and one can actually feel them at war. It reminds me of the good devil and bad devil scenario. Trust me here - it is no fun for the person that is imprisoned by it, not only do they have to balance the two minds, but they also have the guilt that they feel when they see what the result of the battle in their heads is doing to the people around them. The constant questions that one faces are an added pain to the already lonely tortured person.
So if anyone out there knows a person that suffers from non-acceptance or low self-esteem, HUG them and please try to have more patience and understand that they are not having a picnic and that if just saying , “stop it” or “just don`t think about it” could stop it, they would in a heartbeat. We all need support and acceptance to get us through our lows. Kicking someone when they are down, never ever helps them to get up.